GRAMMY Predictions

I will not be watching the GRAMMYs live this year, because my sister has a show tonight, and I am basically an amazing sibling. Also, you should all go to my sister's show tonight. See? Now I'm even more amazing. But! I WILL blog about the Grammys as soon as I get the opportunity to see them and judge them. I'm very excited to get all judge-y. Til then, here are some of my predictions for the evening (though I really love judging the performances more than the actual awards).

Disclaimer: Yes, I am aware that the GRAMMYS are awful. That's why they're so fun to judge.

Here we go!!

Record Of The Year

Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX -- "Fancy"
Sia -- "Chandelier"
Sam Smith -- "Stay With Me"
Taylor Swift -- "Shake It Off"
Meghan Trainor -- "All About That Bass"

Sam Smith will probably take this, plus several more. As much as I hate to say it, T Swift SHOULD win. But the Sia song is my favorite one on this list.

Album Of The Year

Beck -- "Morning Phase"
Beyoncé -- "Beyoncé"
Ed Sheeran -- "X"
Sam Smith -- "In The Lonely Hour"
Pharrell Williams -- "Girl"

Beyonce. Bow down, bitches. Bow, bow down, bitches.

Song Of The Year

Meghan Trainor -- "All About That Bass"
Hozier -- "Take Me To Church"
Taylor Swift -- "Shake It Off"
Sia -- "Chandelier"
Sam Smith -- "Stay With Me" [Darkchild Version]

Sam Smith will probably run with this one, unless Hozier pulls a Gotye. Not likely. I kind of love that damn church song though.

Best New Artist

Iggy Azalea
Brandy Clark
Sam Smith

There's no way in hell they will pick HAIM for this. Sam Smith.

Best Pop Solo Performance

John Legend -- "All of Me" (live)
Sia -- "Chandelier"
Sam Smith -- "Stay With Me"
Taylor Swift -- "Shake It Off"
Pharrell Williams -- "Happy"

I really think this is Sam Smith's year to sweep, although that Pharrell song was a hit across generations of music lovers.

Best Pop Duo/ Group Performance

Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX -- "Fancy"
Coldplay -- "A Sky Full of Stars"
A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera -- "Say Something"
Ariana Grande, Jessie J & Nicki Minaj -- "Bang Bang"
Katy Perry ft. Juicy J -- "Dark Horse"

This is a tough one! Seriously! Katy Perry (barf) or Iggy will probably take it. "Bang Bang" is the most fun of all of these, and "Say Something" is the prettiest. Do I have to pick just one? Just don't give it to Coldplay, and we should be alright.

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album

Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga -- "Cheek To Cheek"
Annie Lennox -- "Nostalgia"
Barry Manilow -- "Night Songs"
Johnny Mathis -- "Sending You A Little Christmas"
Barbara Streisand w/ Various Artists -- "Partners"

This category is hilarious to me, mostly because Lady Gaga is part of it. I have no idea how this will go, and I do not really care.

Best Pop Vocal Album

Coldplay -- "Ghost Stories"
Miley Cyrus -- "Bangerz"
Ariana Grande -- "My Everything"
Katy Perry -- "Prism"
Ed Sheeran -- "X"
Sam Smith -- "In The Lonely Hour"

If we are speaking strictly in terms of pop vocals here (as we should be), then Ariana Grande or Sam Smith should win, as they are obviously the most talented vocalists in this category. Sam Smith will take it.

Best Dance/ Electronic Album

Aphex Twin -- "Syro"
Deadmaus -- "While (1<2)"
Little Dragon -- "Nabuma Rubberband"
Röyksopp & Robyn -- "Do It Again"
Mat Zo -- "Damage Control"

Aphex Twin or Deadmau5. I think Deadmau5 may take it, but Aphex Twin should. However, I like none of these. Sorry to all the Aphex Twin obsessed, it's just how I feel!

Best Rock Performance

Ryan Adams -- "Gimme Something Good"
Arctic Monkeys -- "Do I Wanna Know?"
Beck -- "Blue Moon"
The Black Keys -- "Fever"
Jack White -- "Lazaretto"

I think this could go one of three ways. The Black Keys, Jack, or Arctic Monkeys. Beck got a lot of attention for his most recent album. He made lots of "Best of" lists for 2014. But in my opinion, we didn't need another Sea Change from Beck. Basically, if they decide to give this to Beck or Ryan Adams (oh how I hate Ryan Adams), then I give up.

Best Metal Performance

Anthrax -- "Neon Knights"
Mastodon -- "High Road"
Mötorhead -- "Heartbreaker"
Slipknot -- "The Negative One"
Tenacious D -- "The Last In Line"

No clue. Eh....Motorhead? So few voters will actually make an educated vote in this category. Tenacious D is my favorite of these, but I haven't heard anything since Kielbasa Sausage.

Best Rock Song

Hayley Williams & Taylor York (songwriters) -- "Ain't It Fun" (Paramore)
Beck Hansen (songwriter) -- "Blue Moon" (Beck)
Dan Auerbach, Brian Burton & Patrick Carney (Songwriters) -- "Fever" (The Black Keys)
Ryan Adams (songwriter) -- "Gimme Something Good" (Ryan Adams)
Jack White II (songwriter) -- "Lazaretto" (Jack White)

It'll go to The Black Keys or Jack White. It should be The Black Keys. Sorry, Jack White obsessors.

Best Rock Album

Ryan Adams -- "Ryan Adams"
Beck -- "Morning Phase"
Black Keys -- "Turn Blue"
Tom Petty -- "Hypnotic Eye"
U2 -- "Songs of Innocence"

Black Keys.

**** The MOST IMPORTANT CATEGORY!!!! Best Alternative Music Album ****

Alt-J -- "This Is All Yours"
Arcade Fire -- "Reflektor"
Cage the Elephant -- "Melophobia"
St. Vincent -- "St. Vincent"
Jack White -- "Lazaretto"

I am really torn in this category. When I heard my BFF St. Vincent was nominated, I was sure she would take it. Now, looking at the other nominees, I am not so sure. She SHOULD win. No contest. The Arcade Fire album was meh, but they've won before. Jack White? Yeah, alright, you're prolific and interesting...but dude, you're no Annie Clark. If Alt-J or Cage the Elephant are even considered, then I suspect they've just started pulling names out of a hat.

My prediction: St. Vincent. I believe!!!

Best R&B Performance

Beyoncé ft. Jay Z -- "Drunk in Love"
Chris Brown ft. Usher & Rick Ross -- "New Flame"
Jennifer Hudson ft. R. Kelly --"It's Your World"
Ledisi -- "Like This"
Usher -- "Good Kisser"

Give it to Beyonce.

Best R&B Song

Shawn Carter, Rasool Diaz, Noel Fisher, Jerome Harmon, Beyoncé Knowles, Timothy Mosely, Andre Eric Proctor & Brian Soko (songwriters) -- "Drunk in Love" (Beyoncé ft. Jay Z)
Ronald "Flip" Colson, Warren "Oak" Felder, Usher Raymond IV, Jameel Roberts, Terry "Tru" Sneed & Andrew "Pop" Wansel (songwriters) -- "Good Kisser" (Usher)
Eric Bellinger, Chris Brown, James Chambers, Malissa Hunter, Justin Booth Johnson, Mark Pitts, Usher Raymond IV, William Roberts, Maurice "Verse" Simmonds & Keith Thomas (songwriters) -- "New Flame" (Chris Brown ft. Usher & Rick Ross)
Dominic Gordon, Brandon Hesson, William Roberts & Jamaica "Kahn-Cept" Smith (songwriters) -- "Options (Wolfjames Version)" (Luke James ft. Rick Ross)
Jhené Aiko Chilombo (songwriter) -- "The Worst" (Jhené Aiko)

Give it to Beyonce. She deserves 3 stacks.

Best Urban Contemporary Album

Jhené Aiko -- "Sail Out"
Beyoncé -- "Beyoncé"
Chris Brown -- "X"
Mali Music -- "Mali Is"
Pharrell Williams -- "G I R L"

Urban Contemporary. Okay. For this euphemistic category, I pick Beyonce or Pharrell. Beyonce should win everything all the time.

Best R&B Album

Bernhoft -- "Islander"
Aloe Blacc -- "Lift Your Spirit"
Toni Braxton & Babyface -- "Love, Marriage & Divorce"
Robert Glasper Experiment -- "Black Radio 2"
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings -- "Give The People What They Want"

I think it'll go to Toni Braxton & Babyface on name recognition alone, but Sharon Jones should win it.

Best Rap Performance

Childish Gambino -- "305"
Drake -- "0 to 100/ The Catch Up"
Eminem -- "Rap God"
Kendrick Lamar -- "I"
Lecrae -- "All I Need Is You"

Kendrick should win all the awards. Will he? I don't think he cares, but I do, dammit! Give it to him! PLEASE!!!!

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration

Common Featuring Jhené Aiko -- "Black Majik"
Eminem ft. Rihanna -- "The Monster"
I Love Makonnen ft. Drake -- "Tuesday"
Schoolboy Q ft. BJ the Chicago Kid-- "Studio"
Kanye West & Charlie Wilson -- "Bound 2"

Eminem and Rihanna will probably nab this.

Best Rap Song

Ernest Clark, Jamal Jones, Onika Maraj, Marcos Palacios & J. Solone-Myvett (songwriters) -- "Anaconda" (Nikki Minaj)
Mike Dean, Malik Jones, Che Pope, Elon Rutberg, Sakiya Sandifer, John Stephens, Kanye West, Charlie Wilson & Cydel Young (songwriters) -- "Bound 2" (Kanye West & Charlie Wilson)
K.Duckworth & C. Smith (songwriters) -- "I" (Kendrick Lamar)
N. Fisher & C.Thomaz (songwriters) -- "We Dem Boyz" (Wiz Khalifa)
A. Feeney, Aubrey Graham, A. Hernandez, P. Jeffries, M. Samuels & Noah Shebib (songwriters) -- "O To 100/ The Catch Up" (Drake)

Please let Kendrick take this one. If only for the fact that he has the fewest number of writers (tied with Wiz).

Best Rap Album

Iggy Azalea -- "The New Classic"
Childish Gambino -- "Because the Internet"
Common -- "Nobody's Smiling"
Eminem -- "The Marshall Mathers LP2"
Oxymoron -- "Schoolboy Q"
Wiz Khalifa -- "Blacc Hollywood"

Granted, the noms may not be that amazing this year, but if Iggy takes this category after last year's Macklemore debacle, I may vomit in my mouth a bit. prediction...Iggy will take it. I can feel the bile rising in my throat. If I am wrong, I will rejoice. Now excuse me while I listen to "Black Widow" on repeat while I run on the treadmill....

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and throw my predictions out for the country categories, even though I hate pop country. Let's just see what my odds are.

Best Country Solo Performance

Eric Church -- "Give Me Back my Hometown"
Hunter Hayes -- "Invisible"
Miranda Lambert -- "Automatic"
Carrie Underwood -- "Something In the Water"
Keith Urban -- "Cop Car"

Carrie or Miranda.

Best Country Duo/Group Performance

The Band Perry -- "Gentle On My Mind"
Miranda Lambert with Carrie Underwood -- "Somethin' Bad"
Little Big Town -- "Day Drinking"
Tim McGraw ft. Faith Hill -- "Meanwhile Back At Mama's"
Keith Urban ft. Eric Church -- "Raise 'Em Up"

The Band Perry or Miranda/Carrie.

Best Country Song

Miranda Lambert "-- Automatic"
Kenny Chesney -- "American Kids"
Eric Church -- "Give Me Back My Hometown"
Glen Campbell -- "I'm Not Gonna Miss You"
Tim McGraw -- "Meanwhile Back At Mama's"

HA HA! No clue! I'll go with the only woman in the category, just because.

Best Country Album

Dierks Bentley -- "Riser"
Eric Church -- "The Outsiders"
Brandy Clark -- "12 Stories"
Miranda Lambert -- "Platinum"
Lee Ann Womack -- "The Way I'm Livin'"

Let's just pretend that Miranda Lambert wins all of them and that I have some semblance of a clue what I'm talking about.

Yes, I will blog my GRAMMYS experience. Very soon. I know you're all very excited.